Florida
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MIAMI — Environmental officials were baffled to discover a flamingo wearing designer sunglasses and a gold chain wandering through South Beach, until they traced it back to local entrepreneur Rick “The Flamboyant” Morrison. Morrison, 42, had allegedly been operating an illegal flamingo rental service called “Flamingos on Fleek,” offering the birds as “living Instagram props”…

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DAYTONA BEACH — Police shut down an illegal gambling operation after discovering a high-stakes poker game being run inside the ball pit at a local Chuck E. Cheese. Dale Hutchins, 45, had allegedly been running the underground casino for three months, charging a $50 cover to access what he called the “VIP Ball Pit Experience.”…

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KEY WEST — Local resident Marcus “Bubba” Thompson, 39, was arrested after attempting to ride a manatee to work, claiming his car was “too mainstream” and he wanted to “connect with nature.” Thompson was spotted in the shallow waters near Smathers Beach, sitting atop a visibly annoyed manatee while holding a briefcase and wearing a…

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JACKSONVILLE — Shortly after winning $250,000 in the state lottery, entrepreneur Wayne Douglas, 47, purchased 500 inflatable tube men and opened “Wayne’s World of Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Men.” The business failed within two weeks due to what Douglas calls “market saturation and a lack of vision from the community.” “People just don’t appreciate…

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EVERGLADES CITY — Wildlife officials shut down an illegal transportation service run by Jake Morrison, 36, who had been offering rides across swamp areas via trained alligators. Morrison advertised the service on Facebook Marketplace as “EverGator Rides – 4.8 star rating!” Charges include operating without proper permits, endangering public safety, and “gross misrepresentation of alligator…

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FORT LAUDERDALE — A tense 45-minute standoff ended peacefully when SWAT team members convinced homeowner Darren Mills, 41, that the “armed intruder” in his house was actually his own reflection. Mills had recently purchased a full-length mirror from IKEA but forgot about it after assembling it drunk. He spent three hours hiding in his bathtub,…

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