Florida Man Arrested for Attempting to Ride Manatee to Work

KEY WEST — Local resident Marcus “Bubba” Thompson, 39, was arrested after attempting to ride a manatee to work, claiming his car was “too mainstream” and he wanted to “connect with nature.” Thompson was spotted in the shallow waters near Smathers Beach, sitting atop a visibly annoyed manatee while holding a briefcase and wearing a full business suit. Witnesses reported he was using a pool noodle as a makeshift rudder and shouting motivational phrases at the manatee. “He kept yelling ‘We’re gonna be late for the morning meeting, Gerald!'” said beachgoer Sandra Martinez. “The manatee’s name is not Gerald. Also, manatees can’t be late for meetings.” Wildlife officers intervened after approximately 20 minutes, during which Thompson had moved roughly 15 feet. When questioned, Thompson insisted he had “developed a rapport” with the manatee and that it was “totally into it.” The manatee, examined by wildlife officials, appeared unharmed but “deeply confused and possibly questioning its life choices,” according to the incident report. Thompson faces charges of harassing protected wildlife and being late to work. His employer confirmed he was also fired, though “not specifically because of the manatee incident.”