Florida Man Arrested for Attempting to Ride Manatee to Work

<p><strong>KEY WEST</strong> — Local resident Marcus &#8220;Bubba&#8221; Thompson, 39, was arrested after attempting to ride a manatee to work, claiming his car was &#8220;too mainstream&#8221; and he wanted to &#8220;connect with nature.&#8221;</p> <p>Thompson was spotted in the shallow waters near Smathers Beach, sitting atop a visibly annoyed manatee while holding a briefcase and wearing a full business suit. Witnesses reported he was using a pool noodle as a makeshift rudder and shouting motivational phrases at the manatee.</p> <p>&#8220;He kept yelling &#8216;We&#8217;re gonna be late for the morning meeting, Gerald!'&#8221; said beachgoer Sandra Martinez. &#8220;The manatee&#8217;s name is not Gerald. Also, manatees can&#8217;t be late for meetings.&#8221;</p> <p>Wildlife officers intervened after approximately 20 minutes, during which Thompson had moved roughly 15 feet. When questioned, Thompson insisted he had &#8220;developed a rapport&#8221; with the manatee and that it was &#8220;totally into it.&#8221;</p> <p>The manatee, examined by wildlife officials, appeared unharmed but &#8220;deeply confused and possibly questioning its life choices,&#8221; according to the incident report. Thompson faces charges of harassing protected wildlife and being late to work. His employer confirmed he was also fired, though &#8220;not specifically because of the manatee incident.&#8221;</p>