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CLEARWATER BEACH — Wildlife officers and local police teamed up to arrest Timothy “Timbo” Fletcher, 44, after discovering he had trained a squad of squirrels to pickpocket tourists at Clearwater Beach. Fletcher’s operation came to light when beachgoers reported an unusual number of squirrels approaching them, not for food, but apparently targeting wallets, purses, and…

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ORLANDO — Theme park security detained a man after he was discovered attempting to replace himself with an elaborate cardboard cutout at his office job while spending his workday riding roller coasters. Gerald Patterson, 38, a regional sales manager for a software company, had constructed a life-sized cardboard replica of himself, complete with a recorded…

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MIAMI — Environmental officials were baffled to discover a flamingo wearing designer sunglasses and a gold chain wandering through South Beach, until they traced it back to local entrepreneur Rick “The Flamboyant” Morrison. Morrison, 42, had allegedly been operating an illegal flamingo rental service called “Flamingos on Fleek,” offering the birds as “living Instagram props”…

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DAYTONA BEACH — Police shut down an illegal gambling operation after discovering a high-stakes poker game being run inside the ball pit at a local Chuck E. Cheese. Dale Hutchins, 45, had allegedly been running the underground casino for three months, charging a $50 cover to access what he called the “VIP Ball Pit Experience.”…

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KEY WEST — Local resident Marcus “Bubba” Thompson, 39, was arrested after attempting to ride a manatee to work, claiming his car was “too mainstream” and he wanted to “connect with nature.” Thompson was spotted in the shallow waters near Smathers Beach, sitting atop a visibly annoyed manatee while holding a briefcase and wearing a…

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JACKSONVILLE — Shortly after winning $250,000 in the state lottery, entrepreneur Wayne Douglas, 47, purchased 500 inflatable tube men and opened “Wayne’s World of Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Men.” The business failed within two weeks due to what Douglas calls “market saturation and a lack of vision from the community.” “People just don’t appreciate…

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