Florida Man Files Lawsuit Against God for Hurricane, Claims 'Breach of Verbal Contract'

# Case Number 777: Man vs. Almighty A Pinellas County resident has filed a lawsuit in federal court naming "God" as the primary defendant, seeking damages for a rained-out barbecue. The plaintiff, 54-year-old "Boater Bill," claims he had a "verbal and spiritual agreement" with the Creator that weekend which guaranteed sunshine in exchange for Bill "being cool for like, three days straight." ## The Legal Argument "I held up my end of the bargain," Bill told reporters outside the courthouse, wearing a suit jacket over board shorts. "I didn't honk at anyone, I returned my shopping cart, and I even tipped the pizza guy. Then? Bam. Hurricane. That's a breach of contract." ## Jurisdiction Issues Legal experts warn that serving a subpoena to the Almighty might prove difficult, as God has no known physical address, though many locals claim He lives in darkness (which is just outside Orlando). The judge is expected to dismiss the case due to "Act of God" clauses being literally named after the defendant. *Satire Disclosure: Inspired by actual frivolous lawsuits, though usually they sue the weatherman.*