New Sovereign Nation Founded Next to Interstate 75 to Avoid Local Noise Ordinances
Self-proclaimed President of the Swamp issues executive order authorizing unlimited fireworks displays after 10 PM.
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“Palmetto bug spotted operating SunPass toll transponder. Traffic delayed 45 minutes.”
Fed on Publix tender subs; refuses formal comment.
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Round 7 / Sample dispatch
Man attempts to ride alligator through drive-thru because lobby was closed
Fresh from the peninsula
Self-proclaimed President of the Swamp issues executive order authorizing unlimited fireworks displays after 10 PM.
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A local engineer tries to automate holiday cheer, resulting in Uncle Sam-themed drone declaring war on backyard patio.
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Local EPA representatives investigate after 3,000 gallons of cherry, berry blue, and lemon Jell-O attract every raccoon in the county.
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Highway patrol officers find motorist revving engine to 'medium-rare' temperature to expedite holiday lunch.
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'It was the most beautiful crime I've ever seen,' says host after national bird performs tactical extraction of a 12-pound smoked beef brisket.
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Retirement community residents witness golf cart combat as rival shuffleboard teams weaponize festive pyrotechnics.
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