TSA Officers Discover 'Live, Scaly Filling' Inside Florida Man's Pumpernickel Loaf

# The Bread that Bites Back Security at Orlando International Airport was alerted to a suspicious "moving crust" during a routine X-ray of a carry-on bag. The culprit? A three-foot green iguana expertly tucked into a hollowed-out loaf of artisan pumpernickel. The owner, a 42-year-old man from Kissimmee, seemed genuinely surprised that his "lunch" has started hissing at the airport staff. ## The Defense "It's a emotional support sandwich," the man allegedly screamed as TSA agents carefully extracted the reptile. "He likes the smell of yeast! It calms his cold-blooded anxiety!" The iguana, now a local celebrity, has been dubbed "Sourdough Steve" and is currently awaiting relocation to a sanctuary that does not involve bakery products. ## Empire Analysis: Subject has innovated the 'Reptilian Pastry' delivery method. While aesthetically pleasing (the iguana matched the bread's texture), the thermographic signature was a dead giveaway. *Pro-tip: Don't put lizards in bread. It's bad for the lizard and ruins the crumb structure.*