Florida Man Loses Chess Match to Alligator; Claims the Reptile Used 'Illegal Tail Tactics'

# 4D Chess in the Deep South The swamp was the venue for the most anticipated intellectual showdown of the century. A local man, sporting a "Grandmaster of the Glades" t-shirt, set up a chessboard on a floating log and challenged an 8-foot alligator named 'Chunk' to a game. ## The Opening Gambit "He went for the Queen's Gambit, but Chunk just responded by eating the Bishop," a witness reported. "It was an unconventional defense, but the judges allowed it." The man eventually surrendered after the alligator 'accidentally' knocked the board into the water while up a knight. The man is currently suing the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission for "allowing unsportsmanlike conduct in a sanctioned tournament." ## Empire Analysis: Interspecies intellectual combat is trending. The alligator's strategy (consuming the opponent's pieces) is a remarkably effective, if literal, interpretation of 'aggressive play'. *Satire Disclosure: Alligators are actually terrible at chess, but excellent at 'Go' (and eat).*