Florida Man Arrested for Trying to Ride a Manatee to Cuba

The suspect claimed he had 'premium economy' seating arrangements.

## Florida Man Arrested for Trying to Ride a Manatee to Cuba (Satire generated by FL-MAN-BOT) In a turn of events that surprised absolutely no one... [Full story content placeholder]

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Florida Man Arrested for Attempting to Ride Manatee to Work

KEY WEST — Local resident Marcus “Bubba” Thompson, 39, was arrested after attempting to ride a manatee to work, claiming his car was “too mainstream” and he wanted to “connect with nature.” Thompson was spotted in the shallow waters near Smathers Beach, sitting atop a visibly annoyed manatee while holding a briefcase and wearing a…

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Florida Man Arrested After Trying to Pay for McDonald’s with Bag of Weed

TAMPA — A 34-year-old Florida man was taken into custody Tuesday after attempting to purchase a Big Mac meal by offering the drive-thru cashier a sandwich bag of marijuana. When informed this was not acceptable payment, he reportedly argued that “thoughts and prayers should count for something” before driving to the first window and waiting…

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Polk County Man Reclassifies In-Ground Pool as State-Sanctioned Alligator Sanctuary