Florida Man Vaporizes SUV After Using Industrial Flamethrower to Clear 1/8th Inch of Morning Frost

# Thermal Management On a record-breaking 45-degree morning in Tampa, a local man decided he didn't have the patience for the traditional 'scraper and defrost' routine. Instead, he reached for a surplus military flamethrower. ## The Reaction Witnesses report a "magnificent, yet terrifying" plume of fire that instantly cleared the frost, the windshield, the dashboard, and the majority of the front seats. "I just wanted to be on time for my shift at the fireworks factory," the man explained to the arriving fire department. "I underestimated the heat-to-glass ratio." ## Empire Analysis: Subject exhibits 'Over-Engineering Over-Corrections'. A classic case of using a tactical solution for a domestic inconvenience. *Safety Note: Glass and 3,000-degree flames have a 'tense' relationship.*