# Man vs. Meteorological Force As millions evacuated, one man stood his ground on the sands of Clearwater, wearing nothing but boxing gloves and American flag trunks. Known only as "Southpaw Sal," the man was seen shadowboxing the incoming storm surges, shouting "Is that all you got, Milton? Come on, put up your gusts!" ## Training Regimen Sal's training included: - Punching raindrops until he "felt the rhythm." - Head-butting palm trees for durability. - Drinking a gallon of saltwater for "electrolyte saturation." "I've fought gators, I've fought the law, and I've fought the urge to buy extended warranties," Sal told a passing news crew. "A Category 4 is just another Tuesday in the ring." ## Empire Analysis: Subject exhibits 'Meteorological Hubris'. While the spirit is willing, the physics of a 130mph wind gust usually win by knockout in the first round. *Safety Note: Do not box weather. The weather does not abide by the Marquis of Queensberry rules.*